Learning How to Fish

Sustainability and how to achieve it is of great interest to me, and has always been my hope and focus in preparing for my project and my time here in Honduras. When I leave, what will I leave behind? How will my efforts be continued? What will justify the time, energy and resources spent to allow me to be here? I sometimes wonder, is it selfish of me to want to be remembered? Perhaps the biggest impact I can make is a silent one.

I have been fascinated with the causes and effects of volunteering since my first international mission trip last summer. Of course I am going to help them, I thought. I am giving up my time. I am leaving my comfortable, privileged life in the U.S. I am showing them that I care by going to help them. I did not stop to ask myself how I was helping, or how, in fact, I might be hurting.

I grew up in the church. Often I was taught to love your neighbor as yourself, and its application to everyone, not just the family next door. This instilled in me a moral obligation to help others and to use the opportunities I was given to benefit the lives of those “less fortunate” than me. Early in life I formed an image in my head of these people, where they came from, and why they needed my help. I did not stop to ask myself how instead they might help me.

To make volunteer efforts sustainable is more complicated than drafting a detailed itinerary, assembling a team, or raising funds. In some cases, it may be more beneficial to throw the detailed itinerary into the burning pile of trash. As a volunteer it is important to be flexible. If the plan does not work, do not be afraid to change direction. It is easy to think our way is the best way and not want to stray from our brilliant idea. Being limited to a single cultural perspective is sometimes what leads to hurting instead of helping. What we may view as a problem or a necessity at home may be insignificant elsewhere. If you lived your whole life without hot water in the shower you would not wake up one morning and suddenly think you were missing out. Temporarily it may seem as if our brilliant plan is working. Not wanting to be rude, and wanting to maintain a relationship of support, the people may go along with the plan while you are present. Without considering the context, priorities and values of those we are trying to help, long term success or behavioral change is unlikely.

Coming from the States with a “program”, I feared I would appear imposing on the local staff. I never wanted to tell them what to do, but instead wanted to observe and listen to their opinions to learn how best I can help. My focus is education and literacy, but my means of assisting and improving within this focus are constantly changing. As I plotted and planned before coming, I was advised to include the staff as much as possible in my planning, perhaps so much so I act more as a facilitator. I hope to be the spark that starts a fire in them and creates staff ownership in the work I hope to see accomplished to benefit the children.

It is the relationship between the staff and the children that should be most valued and nurtured. The first time I traveled to Honduras I stayed for seven days. Now I am here for four months. Neither of these amounts to anything compared to the 18 plus years some of these children will spend at Montaña de Luz. Although I am here for the kids and I love each one of them dearly, I will not have nearly as much impact on their adolescence and upbringing as any of the staff members here. It is hard to acknowledge my involvement in their lives has the potential to cause more harm than good because I am temporary. I am here long term, but at the end of the term I will leave. Because of this, I want to build meaningful relationships with the staff. Their time here will long outlast me and have a much greater impact on the lives of each child. Every person here is invaluable and I hope to show each one my appreciation for their continuous hard work and love for these children, because that is what makes the vision of this organization a reality.

At the end of last summer following two completely different international trips, I began to ponder the difference between a mission and a vision. My understanding of the two and how they relate and compare to each other is something I may never fully reconcile. A mission is literally “an important assignment” or a purpose. It is the present, and what can help right now. It is disaster relief after a hurricane. It is giving a man a fish, so he may eat today. A vision is different. A vision is a path. It is looking to the future, and what can help long term. It is motivating people to act. It is teaching a man to fish, so he may eat for a lifetime.

Before coming to Honduras I thought through many different iterations of a program to bring with me to implement. I thought about what problem I wanted to solve and how I wanted to solve it. I thought about the people I wanted to help. I knew no matter what I decided, it was followed by a giant asterisk, as it was all subject to change the moment I set foot on the mountain. I did not know that I was subject to change as well; that my understanding of helping and my perception of misfortune would be so radically altered, and that I was the one who needed to learn how to fish.